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| Thread: Battle of the sexes! |  This thread is pages long: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 · «PREV / NEXT» |
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Thunder
Responsible
Famous Hero
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posted May 28, 2002 09:49 PM |
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*A bald priest appears from nowhere.*
Thunder, in thy name!"
*The priest turns towards The_Gootch.*
"Thou has to suffer no longer as I can cure what ails thee. If thou dost really wish that."
*The_Gootch nods barely able to form a word in his agony.*
*The priest casts Greater Healing on The_Gootch.*
*The_Gootch is now eunuch.*
*The_Gootch realizes what came to happen and curses the priest.*
"No need to thank me. Praise Thunder instead, for it was my Lord's and Master's wish that thou would be cured from thine long lasting disease of bestiality. To become a human at last."
*This time cursing is too mild word to describe what The_Gootch said. We use *CENSORED* instead.*
"Why am I a priest? I may be bald and deaf, but I am an excellent lip-reader as thou may have noticed. But it seems that it is time for me to go now. Fare thee well."
*The priest vanishes into the air before The_Gootch has time to stop him.*
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Sir_Elric
Responsible
Famous Hero
Having a bad hair day.
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posted May 29, 2002 03:40 PM |
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Praise thee!
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Neverwinter Nights - "City of Melnibone"
Direct connect - ausnwn2.dyndns.org:5121
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Oldtimer
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Please leave a message after..
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posted May 29, 2002 05:02 PM |
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What a strange world, when you need to remove a man's manhood to make him "human". I guess the ladies need the eunichs to shop with them and buy them dinner, but I think Gootch will be there for that midnight phone call.
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<PLEASE DO NOT WAKE THE OLD MAN!>
"Zzzz...Zzzz...Zzzz..."
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The_Gootch
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
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posted May 30, 2002 05:57 PM |
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<Lo and behold, Priapus himself comes shooting out of the sky... 2 balls and a light.... He hovers above ground and finally takes the form of...Tim Allen??!?!?>
(A hushed silence falls on the gathering)
<Priapus's avatar nods to The_Gootch and immediately his buddies grow back. He then begins to speak to The Gootch in what sounds to the pansies and the women like garbled grunting. Gootch nods and responds in the same gutteral language. After a tense moment, the avatar laughs, reassumes his natural form, and disappears>
Ah, much better. So much good stuff to respond to, I don't know where to begin.
Let's start with you Kynes.
Men don't have a 'secret' strategy gene. Heck, it's no secret at all.
Thunder, my friend asks if he should get you a skirt and an apron for your birthday.
Sir_Elric. Why does an Aussie want to be called 'sir'? That's like calling the Pope a protestant. Anyway, I saw your picture.
Heh, three things came to mind. NERO, SCA, or Rennaissance fair reject. In any of those cases...dork, dork, dork. Rumor has it that you were thrown out of the aforementioned organizations because of too many complaints that you were trying to finger-bang 14 year old girls. Is this true?
As for my blow-up doll, I've got 2 words for you: NO COMMITMENT.
<Clamps irons around Cat's neck>
Heh, I've got plans for you.
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Kynes
Adventuring Hero
altruistic egoist
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posted June 01, 2002 01:00 AM |
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Edited By: Kynes on 31 May 2002
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Well, I can see you haven't read much biology... No secret? It must be one damn secret gene, I tell you.
You didn't (of course) comment anything on Ichon informing you of the women's clans in Starcraft - it would've proven you wrong once and for all (it did).
If, btw, this idiotism you're doing here is some stupid joke, it's not very funny. There are subjects, you can't make fun of.
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Gem
Known Hero
Sorceress/Druid
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posted June 01, 2002 06:23 AM |
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Doesn't really matter there. But I can tell there's no such thing about what sex is better in what kind of game. It all relies on practice and attitude.
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Live in peace, don't rest in it.
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Wesley
Disgraceful
Famous Hero
banned
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posted June 01, 2002 11:13 AM |
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Give me this
I even think that if females put more time in learning and liking games they probally get better in it then males, because they are THE smarter gender already.
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Aculias
Responsible
Undefeatable Hero
Pretty Boy Angel Sacraficer
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posted June 01, 2002 08:05 PM |
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Mayhaps but humans are humns & can learn just as much as guys & i know alot of women when they put thier minds into somethang they can be as good as anyone 
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Dreaming of a Better World
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Cat
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Gonna Get Dirrty...
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posted June 01, 2002 09:15 PM |
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Aww, Gootchie...
I always wanted a choker.. very fetching
Being a eunuch really suits you 
*clubs gootch over the head with her own chains*
Shame you have pother soft spots
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 Diwethaf Gloau Sylw y Gymreag
http://aozos.com/phpBB2/index.php
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The_Gootch
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
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posted June 07, 2002 10:31 PM |
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Getting back to real life now
So, I went to me step-daughter's end of the year school play.
They also had the 5th graders' graduation at the end of the night.
They also handed out awards--some very special ones I might add.
8 presidential certificates of academic achievement(insert your own joke here) were handed out.
Not a single one of the recipients was male. WTF?!
Now, 10 presidential certificates of academic improvement(again, insert your own joke here) were handed out after that.
8 out of the 10 recipients were of a single gender. *sigh* I'll give you all 3 guesses and the first 2 don't count.
Needless to say, my wife kept poking me in my ribs and laughing at me.
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Sir_Elric
Responsible
Famous Hero
Having a bad hair day.
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posted June 08, 2002 03:31 AM |
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Quote:
8 presidential certificates of academic achievement(insert your own joke here) were handed out.
Now, 10 presidential certificates of academic improvement(again, insert your own joke here) were handed out after that.
8 presidential certificates of academic achievement(Applying lipstick - Ability to stay in the lines) were handed out.
Now, 10 presidential certificates of academic improvement(Applying lipstick - Getting better at staying in the lines!) were handed out after that.
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Neverwinter Nights - "City of Melnibone"
Direct connect - ausnwn2.dyndns.org:5121
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pepeviejo
Adventuring Hero
Protecting sheep + baby ducks
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posted June 08, 2002 07:19 AM |
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Slowly but surely my sheep are learning the ways of Heroes 4. They learn from the females while the baby ducks learn agressive moves from males of their kind. Yes my animals are trained in the art of war.
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The_Gootch
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
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posted April 08, 2003 08:03 PM |
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<Just finishes slapping his mother for trying to make him do the dishes>
Who's next?
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Sir_Stiven
Honorable
Legendary Hero
banned
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posted April 09, 2003 03:27 AM |
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wow gotta say reading these threads are really really funny, kinda reminds you of the funny old days here.
Now ima look up some more old threads, could be fun
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peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted April 09, 2003 10:05 PM |
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AH HAH!!!!
Just WAIT till I get caught up here!!!
This should be a load of fun. Thanks for the tip Gootch. By the way, I dare you to guess whether I am really a male or a female (You never know what's lurking under that armour, you know...)
Think carefully before you answer... My unseen powers are both many and mighty...
REMEMBER THE SIGNATURE
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted April 10, 2003 12:03 AM |
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Oh, wait a second --
*blushes, recalling use of the word "smitten" in recent IM to the Gootch*
Ahhh, Er, well, never mind that.
By the way --
*Flings a dish Frisbee-style, just barely missing Gootche's head as it shatters against the castle wall*
-- YO MAMA!
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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The_Gootch
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
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posted April 10, 2003 02:42 AM |
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Stares at Peacemaker as she's some sort of apparition
"You must have missed the turn-off for Other Side of the Monitor. If you need an escort to get back there I'll be more than happy to oblige."
<Pauses for a moment while he considers his answer to her question>
"Of course I knew you were a woman, even before you admitted your undying affection towards me. Let's take a look, shall we? First, you chose an anatomically correct avatar. No man in his right mind would pick an avatar that had a rack. It's a guess, but the only reason that you didn't pick the sprite was because she was kidnapped by Rogue before he left to become his sex slave."
<Starts moving towards Peacemaker>
"Second, you have been far too kind in the remarks you have made towards others. Your reasoning lacks the certainty that men have. Third, every man knows about his 'unseen' and 'mighty' powers without having to advertise them. Women have to remind men of the box that they wield."
<Grabs her wrist>
"Finally, your arguments are far too persuasive. To paraphrase Sir Anthony Hopkins from 'Amistad', 'Such erudition without a male master with at least one tenth the grace...is worthless'. I've never had a squaw as part of my harem before. But if you ask real nice right now, I'll consider it."
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peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted April 10, 2003 03:09 AM |
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<WELL I GUESS I ASKED FOR THAT NOW DIDNT I>
Watchit Gootch. Them's fightin' words. Jus' cuz' I'm a 'squah' don' mean my powers ain many and mighty...
*Peacemaker takes a swing at Gootch with her free hand, causing his free hand to become occupied by catching the intended blow, thus leaving his crotch wide open and unprotected*
Ahhhh -- fatal mistake luv. Never let the enemy get SOOO close as to "disarm" you!
(Your move)
(By the way, thanks for the compliment <WINKS>
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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The_Gootch
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Kneel Before Me Sons of HC!!
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posted April 10, 2003 03:19 AM |
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"OOooof! Not again!"
"Groaan!" <Wonders to himself how many times he's going to have to go through this before he learns his lesson>
<Doubles over...curls up into a fetal position and curses the gods for the only achilles granted to men>
"This isn't over yet." <After a few minutes of agony, gets up and stumbles away>
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peacemaker
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Peacemaker = double entendre
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posted April 10, 2003 03:49 AM |
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(I certainly hope not...)
*Peacemaker brushes the dust from her armour, gets up and goes in the other direction to make dinner*
Just call me "armourknees."
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I have menopause and a handgun. Any questions?
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