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| Thread: If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft... | |
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AzureMajesty
Promising
Adventuring Hero
Gaea Mother Earth
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posted July 03, 2002 09:29 PM |
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If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft...
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support.
Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.
[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
[waiter leaves.]
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . $1.00
Just couldn't pass this up, it's so very Mircrosoft. 
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Romana
Responsible
Supreme Hero
Thx :D
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posted July 03, 2002 09:55 PM |
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hmm..I heard that one before..very funny 
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The darkest skies show the brightest stars
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Lith-Maethor
Honorable
Legendary Hero
paid in Coin and Cleavage
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posted July 03, 2002 10:06 PM |
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good one...
but i remember seeign that in HC before...
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You are suffering from delusions of adequacy.
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Cat
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Gonna Get Dirrty...
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posted July 03, 2002 10:09 PM |
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AzureMajesty
Promising
Adventuring Hero
Gaea Mother Earth
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posted July 03, 2002 10:38 PM |
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Well pooh, I wasnt here in January so I didn't know. But I still thought it was cute & funny.
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Cat
Honorable
Supreme Hero
Gonna Get Dirrty...
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posted July 03, 2002 10:57 PM |
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Mysia
Hired Hero
I am Insane, So Humor Me
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posted July 04, 2002 04:05 AM |
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Why does that ring a bell in my mind... ah yes, the time when my computer crashed!
But maybe the title should also be "If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft, Phone companies and banks..."
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I am not avoiding you... I am selectivly bypassing you.
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Xenophanes
Promising
Famous Hero
Chief Consul to Queen Mutare
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posted July 04, 2002 06:02 AM |
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I remember this one. Someone posted it on the HC before, actually. I think it was a bit longer, but I could be wrong...regardless, I still find it funny
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<Dragons rule, Titans drool!>
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RedSoxFan3
Admirable
Legendary Hero
Fan of Red Sox
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posted July 04, 2002 07:14 AM |
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That is almost as good as the Bill Clinton goes to hell joke.
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Go Red Sox!
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Vadskye91
Promising
Supreme Hero
Back again
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posted April 08, 2004 05:35 PM |
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Lol funny!
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Knowledge is power...
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pietjebell
Promising
Known Hero
positive
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posted April 08, 2004 05:57 PM |
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hehe
nice one
here 's another:
If Microsoft made cars
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At COMDEX recently, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. Oh yeah, and last but not least . . . you'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off!
Probly posted before also, but I like it 
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BOOT: what U give yur computer to start
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Medusa
Famous Hero
Yeah, right
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posted April 09, 2004 09:40 AM |
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Lol, that's funny
Always remember all the path you went before discovering the cause of the problem
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Guardians Grove forum
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AMtwis
Famous Hero
Wannabe-Pixelguy
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posted September 15, 2004 04:34 PM |
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Fun thingy!
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Diwethaf Gloau Sylw y Gymreag
